Glimpses of Glory: Baby Steps

I went to women’s Bible study for the first time in months and it felt like a wonderful little fall reunion. Many faces I hadn't seen in about a year.  

The lesson was on worry and I knew right away, this is God’s plan for me to refocus my heart on this essential foundation. I’ve been letting it slip! 

Like a kite twisting in the winds, sometimes pointed up and rising, and suddenly taking dips and nose-diving toward the ground, my faith and fears do constant battle. 

It’s back to the famous Sermon on the Mount. Nothing new. In fact, I’d been visiting some of the very same verses in recent days.  Don’t worry. Look at the birds and flowers of the field. Aren’t you worth more than these?

I listened pensively as several women shared. Some said it gets easier with age, but I sat there grappling with my own apparent inability to stay in the zone of trust! How come I know these things so well and forget them so easily? 

With various physical pains stabbing at my shoulder, heal and wrist lately, and concerns about security after losing a job five months ago, I’m not seeing a good foundation for building my dreams here.

I confessed to everyone that I’m grappling with trust even after all these years. I miss my husband’s words of assurance and his shoulder to lean on. I feel alone in the ministry God's called me to and the weight is on my shoulders at times. I keep forgetting that the Lord carries the yoke, but I keep taking it back. 

Oh yes, I give it to God and even rebuke the devil. I’ve been moving forward with every opportunity before me. But the point is, it doesn’t come easy. Maybe two steps forward, one or two back. 

It feels like I’m back to baby steps in my spiritual life, walking through new challenges and asking God to hold me up. 

Lord God, help me stay in the zone and take this one day at a time. No matter what it feels like, no matter how painful, no matter how ridiculous it looks, I intend to keep going until I see you face to face! No matter what!

Tears were in my eyes when we closed in prayer, and I asked God simply to hold me up and help me remember it's one step at a time. How can he love me? How does he put up with me?

My face was in my hands, tears were in my eyes, when I became aware that one of the women’s toddlers had tiptoed over to me. He stood right under my face and peered up and said, “Hello!” 

I opened my eyes.  Such a perfect and innocent little face! Blonde curls and and big blue eyes were peering up at me sweetly. Chubby bare feet reminded me of my own tiny clumsy adorable feet and the baby steps I’m taking. 

“Hello sweetheart!” He touched my heart so, I just wanted to scoop him up! He was absolutely angelic! I saw no fault in him whatsoever. 

Oh dear God! It doesn’t matter that we take such faltering steps. You know exactly what I’m made of and yet, you love me still! You are moved at the sound of my little voice. 

Thank you for loving me, Father!

I need to recognize hardship as part of God’s plan. Show me one baby step at a time, Lord. Even if it’s not what I expect!

I will be content to know that you love me, you know my needs, and you won’t fail. 

You have all my tomorrows figured out.