Baby Steps

Just as my little Ellie is taking her first steps in the world, I feel like I am learning a whole new posture in life. I am beginning to test my weight in a whole new direction.

But I’m scared, Lord. I’m so weak and I tire so quickly. I’m unable to stand without your guiding arms. My eyes grow fuzzy and my wrists ache. Many days I feel like I just can’t do it. Please take my hand as I reach out for balance and hold me up as these new muscles develop.

How does a baby learn to walk? Lots of encouragement and helping hands.

Encouragement by example. Big brother and mom and dad and everyone around you is doing it. I want to reach things too! I want to join the party.

Verbal and physical support from a host of family members.

Sheer grit and determination to exercise developing muscles. It’s hard work for that child. Every single step is wobbly and those tender little feet have never held their weight before. Strength only comes with practice.

Falling down is also part of the process. There is no human being who ever learned to stand or walk without taking some hard plops down on the butt and even fast forward on your face. It just doesn’t happen without a few bumps and bruises along the way.

Time. This all-consuming effort takes a great deal of time to master, and there’s no shortcut. All the combined energies of coordinating sight and understanding with balance as those tiny feet press flat on a hard floor for the first time can be exhausting and frustrating.

Many times a child will cry and just put his hands up to you to be carried. You could easily scoop them up to where they want to go, of course, but what loving parent doesn’t decline when he knows the need to walk?

It’s interesting to watch how the child’s hands are in a continual state of reaching for your support and touch. The loving father’s hands are also reaching out, but only go so far. It is only with my best interests at heart.


Then…
When I was a toddler, my parents called me butterball. I’d actually been born a premie at just five pounds, but by the time I was one I’d turned into a little chunk! That didn’t make learning to walk an easy task. I had rolls of fat on my legs and arms to burn off. Not only so, but I was kept in a playpen most of the time. They said I was so content that it was easy to leave me in there, imagine! Finally, someone realized this kid needs some space and they let me out.

There were other obstacles to overcome, too. My big brother and cousin would laugh and poke me when I was trying to stand up. It’s funny now. I did finally take off and get tough. Later on, they tell me that the big kids would run away when I put up my fist and stuck out my lower lip. I wasn’t ever a bully, but I had finally learned a way to stand up for myself. One way or another, I suppose you have to get tough in order to get to where you’re going.

And Now…
Seeing my precious granddaughter at this stage only makes me realize how many parallels there are to where I am in life right now. I’m starting over, learning new things, and I still have a long way to go. I feel unstable and unsure of myself. I need to get tough and work hard and be patient with myself. I need to remember that even if I do fall flat on my face, the loving arms of God are still within reach.


Oh God, there are times I know you are withholding from my pitiful pick-me-up cry. You sometimes wait as I struggle and fall.

I know you’re watching over me, and I know that this is good for me. I know all these things, but one thing I ask. Lord, please stay close enough so I always see your hands before me.

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