God's Four-letter Word

For several weeks now, I’ve been wrestling with God’s foul language. Okay, it’s not exactly foul. It’s just that he keeps using a four-letter word that my soul can’t stand. I feel the hair on the back of my neck bristle and it makes me want to stomp my feet and throw a two-year-old tantrum. Not again! Certainly not now, Lord!

The word is W-A-I-T and God uses it a lot. Of course He has every right to say it. Of course He says it in perfect love. But every time I hear it I feel like He is dragging his feet. I KNOW He could do things quicker if He really wanted to. He created the whole world in a matter of days, right? But we keep coming back to this extremely elementary lesson on timing.

A dear pastor asks for healing from years of debilitating pain… the Lord says, wait.

A divorced man works diligently to save his marriage, care for his children, and fight through the long and humiliating years in court wondering if he will ever feel ready to move on with his life… the Lord says, wait.

A young woman with a heart for missions stays home tending to elderly parents… the Lord says, wait.

A young man in prison is serving out a long sentence for a crime he didn’t commit. Like Joseph, he prays for justice and freedom and wishes he could see an end to the tunnel he’s in. Wait.

A faithful wife loves and prays for her husband to be saved. For twenty years she perseveres but all she hears is just one word while very little happens. Wait.

A young mother watches her little boy fighting a brain tumor. Every night they kneel by the bed and pray for his healing. They wonder if he will make it to his next birthday. They pray and wait.

Months roll into years and lingering questions gather in the corners of our thoughts like dust bunnies under the bed. How long, Lord? How much further is it? When, Lord, when?

Why don’t I get it? Why doesn’t it get any easier? The Lord is smiling at me now. He knows me so well. I’m impetuous. Short-sighted. Locked in the moment. Frank used to call me a walking nerve-ending, if that’s any clue. I admit it, I’m exceedingly emotional. And He who created me knows exactly what’s going on in my heart at any given moment. Instead of resisting, I should find great solace in that knowledge.

Oh Lord, I plead, when will you give me the three-letter word I long to hear? Y-E-S has such a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Father, I really wish we could move on to some new vocabulary around here. …? Are you listening, Lord? I blabber on and on and then there’s a long pause. I realize that I am waiting. Suddenly, the Lord breaks into my thoughts and surprises me with a question.

How about T-R-U-S-T? That’s one of my favorite words and it has five letters.

Not exactly what I was thinking, Lord.

Do you trust me?

….Lord, you know I, well, I think I do.

Will you trust me?

…I want to.

The Lord is silent. He lets me think about it. He waits. Hmmmm. I keep him waiting a lot don’t I?

Finally, I break the silence.

Lord, I do trust you! My heart has known for many years that you alone are trustworthy and all your ways are perfect. I KNOW that you love me with all your heart and I also LOVE you with all of mine! So why do I struggle when you tell me to WAIT? I’m going to embrace that word, I shout with sudden freedom. I'll even take it to the next level. I will TRUST your word and I will FOLLOW you, Lord!

I like that, the Lord grins with approval. Yes, this is a good vocabulary list. Wait. Trust. Follow. This is a list that lets me do what I do best. I think if you really live by them, you will never get lost. You will never be sorry. Stay close to me, kiddo. We make a good team.

I’m trying, Father. But I still think you can do things faster sometimes. I remember Martha asking you about this when you arrived in Bethany four days after Lazarus died. Why did you stay where you were for two extra days when the one you loved was sick?

And Jairus was beside himself when you didn’t get to his house in time. You kept stopping for everyone else along the way. It seems you don’t know how to hurry. People are dying, Lord. People are hurting. It’s so hard to figure out why you delay.

I know it’s hard, my child. But you don’t have to figure it out. Whenever life seems confusing, just go back to the word list. Get in step with me, take my yoke and let me carry the burdens.

Lord, you make everything sound so simple. I almost feel the heaviness of all my questions lifting off my shoulders.

I want you to know another four-letter word.

Oh oh.

It has a sweeter, softer sound. I think you’ll like it.

Okay. I’m ready.

R-E-S-T.

Really? Is that it?

Really. Don’t you see? When you accept my words and trust me in the delay periods, when you have a heart to follow and walk with me no matter how strange if seems at first, you will find rest for your soul.

I do like the sound of that. I really want that. Ahhhh, it actually makes me breathe a little deeper. It makes me think about green pastures and still waters.

Me too.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matt 11:28-30
NIV