Thoughts on whether life and pain are random…

I have entertained a few imposing inner questions along the way. I remember the day my heart screamed out against this terrible thought: Did God literally ASSIGN brain tumors to my beloved husband? Does he actually CHOOSE who will die on the highways this holiday weekend at the other end of some drunken driver’s fender? Car accidents and cancer certainly can’t be pinpointed for God’s chosen people, can they? Does a loving father do such things?

If so, then life must be believed to be merely a string of random events, loosely orchestrated by a capricious God. But I can’t read the Bible and come away with this point of view intact. The God of Israel is seen in a pillar of fire and cloud. He rains manna from heaven and drowns armies in the sea. The Lord delights to show his power and has promised his presence through every trial. He walks with us in the valley! We see him on his feet, on a cross, and ultimately seated on his heavenly throne. He loves us sacrificially and unconditionally. There is none like him.

What have I seen him doing? He is building a kingdom for all eternity. Down through all ages he is focused on this one thing, which will stand forever to proclaim his glory.

On top of this, I add personal knowledge through prayer and a lifetime of experience. This all-important dimension overlays a foundation of Bible study. Years of walking by faith cannot be obliterated easily. Decades of seeing God answer prayer and provide every need cannot fade away in one trial. I have a sure faith that has been proven and tested. One difficult season is exactly that. As my father used to say, “This too shall pass.”

Meanwhile, my own pain and suffering beg the question, what do I know to be true? The same love that inspired God to create us with free will allows that drunk to drive down the road with his senses impaired. The same gift of intelligence that discovers methods for saving life through medicine and technology also invents the toxic substances that pollute our world. God didn’t DO it. Instead, he is the one who is working to redeem the situation for glory.

Human limitations require us to live with this ambivalence. We simply cannot know all or make sense out of the grander schemes. Like Job and Joseph, we only see the immediate page of the greater story. God alone is author of the final plot. We have to trust him to reveal it in time.

Mine is merely the choice to respond. As for me, I will continue to choose faith and just wait for the Lord to show me the rest of the way.


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