Kite

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ebb and flow of God’s moving. The ocean tide goes way out before it floods back in to shore. The night grows very dark before the dawn breaks. And, winter gets extremely long and interminably cold. The frigid ground grows hard as stone and seems hopelessly barren before spring bursts forth.

In my life, I should be able to rest in the down times and trust when life doesn’t make much sense. I should know that God is still working, as all of nature confirms. “This too shall pass.”

Friends of mine told me recently that I was “like a kite without a string,” and we laughed.

“Yeah, Frank used to hold me to the ground.” I smiled with a few tears remembering my good husband who always made me feel safe and secure. “Only God knows where I’m heading now.”

I’ve watched kites in the wind before. When conditions are right, they can rise so high and quickly cover great distances, but then the wind softens, they dip and the string slackens. Sometimes, it looks like they’re flying upside down! Or, they may twist around in circles awhile, turn laterally, and rest on the gentle breezes awaiting another surge.

I feel like I’m in that stage right now. I don’t know the ‘next thing’ for my life, but I’m way waaay out there! Life seems bewildering up here in the clouds, but the options are many.

Yes, I’m very kite-like.

And life very much resembles the wind. We never know where it will take us or how suddenly it will change. It could be anything from a gentle breeze to a tornado with enough gale force to lift our house off its foundation. We live with certain unpredictability.

Now, I look down at the faraway ground and remember what “normal life” used to feel like.

Will I ever have a home again, a “real job” or even a husband? Sigh. Will I soar to greater heights or will I nose-dive straight into the rocks?

I suppose from this altitude anything’s possible, but one thing is clear. Kites don’t control what happens. All they do is yield.

Dear God, hold onto me. Sustain me. Be my string.

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” –Jesus
John 3:8