The Bracelet: crystal beads and blueberries

January 13, 2007

When I was with the women of Medway at a weekend retreat in Newport last spring, we made bead bracelets that were strung to match the verses of Psalm 23. At first I didn’t like the odd pattern and mix of browns and pink, blue and gold. I couldn’t detect an order or system and it seemed too random.

Then I grew to love it and found it a useful tool for teaching others about the lessons of God’s incredible presence through the hard times. On planes, in stores, with the girls in lock-up, it came in handy time and time again... until I lost it.

I checked everywhere. Coat pockets, purse pockets, pants pockets, and desk drawers. What did I do? Granted, I had flown across country and spoken to hundreds and thousands of people. I had been seated on four planes and covered a lot of ground in that span. I finally gave up the search and decided, maybe it will turn up one of these days.

I was so sad I eventually contacted a friend from Medway to see if she knew where I could get another one. Well, it so happens Sue had more beads. Not only so, but she strung up a beautiful bracelet and gift-wrapped it for me! Wow. I was humbled and amazed. This one was even more beautiful then the first. I love it. I started wearing it every day and in fact, didn’t even take it off my wrist anymore... until last Tuesday.

I was rushing around all day, errands, calls, appointments… I was rushing out of the dentist’s office to get to the office and while pulling out of the parking lot juggling my cell phone and talking to a prospective buyer for Medway, I noticed an elderly gentleman standing behind the car. He wanted the number from my for sale sign. Somehow, I managed to continue the phone conversation, waving at the old man while twirling the steering wheel, when my bracelet must have caught on something. Suddenly, I felt a sharp tug.

Before I even knew what caused it, the twelve-pound wire snapped right off my wrist and beads flew through the car! I was sick to my stomach as I saw only a thin wire with a clasp dangling from my wrist. Beads were dribbling down the seat and into the console and around my boots. Ugh. I kept up the conversation with my client, but I wanted to scream.

Later on I got up the courage to email Sue again. And would you believe, that dear gracious woman offered to make yet another bracelet for me. Like an addict needing another fix, I said, but I would be happy to pay this time. We arranged to meet this afternoon.

Fortunately it was light enough to search the car, under the seats, through the console and even in the doors. I kept running my hands under the seats hoping for crystal beads, but instead finding a curious collection of little black rocks. After gathering a small handful, I looked harder at them. WHAT are these things? Suddenly it dawned on me. These are the dried blueberries from October, 2004! I couldn’t believe it. Tears started instantly and my throat went dry as it dawned on me what I now held in the palm of my hand.

Coming home from Wellfleet with Frank a few years ago, he was holding a bag of fresh blueberries. I was driving, and we were listening to an old Chicago CD as we watched the scenery along the harbor. That’s when I noticed Frank was having a seizure. Blueberries were flying around in the car. I never knew so many had rolled under the seats, but I never would have found them if that bracelet hadn’t snapped. Of course it’s not the seizure I want to recall, but this last wonderful trip together, the music, and the ocean scenery at one of our favorite spots on earth.

Wow. I was hunting high and low for crystal beads to signify lessons learned. Instead my scouring hands came upon the dried fruit of meaningful memories together with Frank. Both are significant to me. These things are physical reminders that trigger the mind’s own media replay, but lessons learned and meaningful memories live on in the internal storehouse called the soul. Thank God
that some things that cannot be lost!

Now I have added to the box of sand that I scooped up in Wellfleet. This will be my memory box now. The ashes have been returned to the sea he loved. I have Wellfleet sand, a few shells, cards from all of us in the family to Frank, and now the blueberries. The Lord be praised. We had a wonderful life! And now, there is a precious handful of precious berries to symbolize the sweet and lasting fruit of a life well spent.

Getting to back to why I was hunting in the first place, the whole incident seemed like a test to me. Did I really KNOW the order of all those multi-colored beads? Had I really learned the lovely and timeless words of David’s Psalm 23?

As I scavenged every nook and cranny, I prayed. Oo, there’s no blue bead. Lord, I need still waters! Oh no, the green one’s gone. Lord please, don’t let me miss the green pastures! Each one represents part of the awesome presence and provision of God. From anointing oil to a cup that overflows, God generously and tenderly meets our every need. As I pulled out each precious piece of this shepherd's song, I embraced its beautiful and inspired message. He leads, restores, guides, nourishes, corrects and uplifts me. His love and mercy follow me forever and in the end--yes, the glorious end of the story is already written!--I will be with him forever, living in his house!
Well, I found every single bead and silver separator and had them restrung thanks to Sue. Yay! But something still bothered me about this bracelet breaking into a million pieces. Why, of all the few things that I really cherish and savor, would the first one be stolen or lost and the second one literally explode off my body? (I still can’t for the life of me figure out what pulled it off around the steering wheel.) Lord, what are you trying to teach me through this? It’s as though the devil delights to rip me off. His aim would be to rip me off of God’s very presence and joy if he could! Clearly, he wants to disarm me of a great message.

Just now as I was writing this, two college girls walked by the big store front window and met my eyes, and smiled. How sweet. I must have looked like I was taking an exam, I mused. My searching countenance also broke into a happy smile.

The Lord Jesus smiles too. Then I felt his calming assurance. Karen, that bracelet is meaningful to you because of the lessons you learned in the valley. No matter how dark it gets, know that I am still here, unchanged and undaunted by anything the devil does. And remember to live for the fruit that lasts for all eternity.

Yes, Lord. Thank you that no devil can rip your presence away from me. None can steal it. Nothing this world has to offer can squelch your glory. Nothing can destroy or obliterate or conquer your Spirit. Let grace abound and overflow in my life no matter what!

Impress these truths on my heart forever, where no thief can steal and no earthly forces tear them away.