Uncomfortable Places or Thoughts on Chrysallis House
When I arrived at Chrysallis House to lead Bible study last night, the girls were all in lock-down and the study was canceled. “I thought someone in the office had called you,” Jim said apologetically, “but it looks like they didn’t.”
Well, my first reaction was, Lord knows I probably need the rest. (I had been sick and throwing up just a few hours earlier and thought it was all the more reason to keep pressing on. I was wondering if there was a spiritual battle involved even before I got there.) But it’s so sad when this happens.
I tried to press a little, offering to come in and at least pray with any who wanted to come, but the poor guy looked like he had been crying, actually. The decision was firm. He said they’ve gotten a lot of new girls and things have been extremely trying all afternoon. I could only imagine.
+++++++++++
What is it really like for them?
Here is a houseful of young girls whose lives have been turned upside down. They’ve been torn from the people they love, then sentenced to a life they can’t accept. Many of them come from tough backgrounds, neighborhoods and families. They’ve had to deal with more than their fair share of obstacles and environmental issues. Now they are confused, misplaced, and disoriented on top of everything else. They feel misunderstood and miserable. And some aren’t even out of the ninth grade.
Life adjustments, all these periods of transition, are probably the hardest thing to deal with. There is a giant disconnect, but we are created to seek connection. Even the tiniest negative molecules floating around in the cosmos seek to be attached to positives. Dating all the way back to Genesis, God said, “It is not good that man is alone.” Obviously, we are happiest when we have healthy and meaningful relationships. Yet, these girls are suddenly surrounded by strangers.
Some people thrive on change, but of course it makes a big difference if it is something you’ve chosen. A new house, a new job, a new relationship or a wild trip can be the very things that spice up an otherwise dull existence. Such adventures are usually couched in terms like novel, romantic, exotic or exciting--all considered perks.
However, when life just takes a sudden turn in an unexpected direction, whether through an accident, loss, a doctor’s report, or some court decision, it takes on a whole new meaning. We feel like life is spinning out of control.
Another aspect of the frustration comes from losing the autonomy that we are intended to strengthen as we mature. Decisions and rights are taken away. The girls are given strict rules and enforced regulations. They don’t choose what to eat, when to get up, or when it’s lights out at night. They can’t even go to the bathroom alone, and of course, they have to ask to go, like toddlers.
The incarcerated are quickly reduced to a number in a slot. It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your whole identity. It is first name only. There can be no outside relationships. Everyone is clumped into a phase of sentencing, an assigned floor, and even assigned matching colors to wear. They can’t express themselves in any of the familiar clothes or customary styles. Second floor is red and third floor gets the blue smocks. The clothes are like hospital gowns, plain and simple, with Chinese black thongs and socks on their feet to complete the wardrobe. Of course, no extras either. No jewelry or personal effects, posters, or decorations. All that is stripped away.
When I come in, I’m dressed in normal street clothes and might have things like phone calls, email, traffic, and weather on my mind. None of this has affected their day whatsoever. They’ve just been shuffled from room to room. Their days are filled with a schedule of required classes, reviews, and mundane chores like mopping floors. Harder still, they’ve had staff “on their backs” every waking moment, guarding and firmly addressing every attitude, and every tone of voice.
Not only so, but they have privileges taken away, time and weekend passes denied accordingly. That really hurts. It is not uncommon to hear of one of the girls looking forward to a home visit for weeks, but after some last-minute flare up, to have it denied. It’s akin to telling a child that Christmas is canceled. Then comes anger and another onslaught of raw emotions to deal with.
I don’t mean to say that the staff is the enemy, but like everyone else, they have bad days too. They make mistakes and probably misjudge the girls at one time or another. I’m sure they mean well, but it’s a difficult job trying to keep order and peace in such a house of conflict.
Bottom line, it can feel like a pressure cooker to the girls. All they want is to go home! They want to have their lives back. They crave freedom. Many are missing boyfriends or little sisters. Most of them talk about their moms. Prayer requests usually reflect their burdens for the people they miss at home. They pray for safety and health for moms and grandmoms more than any other thing. They pray for brothers and dads in jail and for help with drugs and alcohol dependencies.
In our brief moments together, one of the most common themes of our studies revolve around suffering. Where is God when it hurts? How do you deal with anger? Why does life seem so unfair? One series I did was called Living in the Pits where we studied the lives of others who had to wade through stormy seas. Job and Jonah, Jeremiah, John and Paul, Joe and Moses offer real encouragement through their stories.
Or, when you look at natural wonders like diamonds, pearls or butterflies, it’s easy to talk about God’s renowned ability to transform the hard things in life into strength and beauty. Molting eagles, giant oaks or delicate desert flowers display God’s enduring power. In the same way, we want these young lives not only to endure, but to emerge as trophies of His grace. That’s our mission!
We believe our Redeemer is serious about the business of arresting our attention. He wants to clothe us in the new linens of Christ. He wants to use the pressure to pull us closer to Him. The Lord wants to turn a house of conflict into an oasis of redemption.
Yes, Chrysallis House is perfectly named after the butterfly cocoon. Even in a place of confinement and restriction, healing can take place. In those dark weeks and months of isolation, young wings are formed and new life is generated.
Thankfully, many of the girls do discover their need of the Savior. They realize that they need to turn around and change the way they were living. And the best part of it is that many put their hope and trust in Jesus Christ and find new life.
Pray that these little rooms of confinement will become springboards to heaven, and their few short months of sentencing will lead them to eternal life!
Thank you for your prayers for Straight Ahead Ministries!
“I consider that our present sufferings
are not worth comparing with the glory
that will be revealed in us.”
Romans 8:18
+++++++++++++
Well, my first reaction was, Lord knows I probably need the rest. (I had been sick and throwing up just a few hours earlier and thought it was all the more reason to keep pressing on. I was wondering if there was a spiritual battle involved even before I got there.) But it’s so sad when this happens.
I tried to press a little, offering to come in and at least pray with any who wanted to come, but the poor guy looked like he had been crying, actually. The decision was firm. He said they’ve gotten a lot of new girls and things have been extremely trying all afternoon. I could only imagine.
+++++++++++
What is it really like for them?
Here is a houseful of young girls whose lives have been turned upside down. They’ve been torn from the people they love, then sentenced to a life they can’t accept. Many of them come from tough backgrounds, neighborhoods and families. They’ve had to deal with more than their fair share of obstacles and environmental issues. Now they are confused, misplaced, and disoriented on top of everything else. They feel misunderstood and miserable. And some aren’t even out of the ninth grade.
Life adjustments, all these periods of transition, are probably the hardest thing to deal with. There is a giant disconnect, but we are created to seek connection. Even the tiniest negative molecules floating around in the cosmos seek to be attached to positives. Dating all the way back to Genesis, God said, “It is not good that man is alone.” Obviously, we are happiest when we have healthy and meaningful relationships. Yet, these girls are suddenly surrounded by strangers.
Some people thrive on change, but of course it makes a big difference if it is something you’ve chosen. A new house, a new job, a new relationship or a wild trip can be the very things that spice up an otherwise dull existence. Such adventures are usually couched in terms like novel, romantic, exotic or exciting--all considered perks.
However, when life just takes a sudden turn in an unexpected direction, whether through an accident, loss, a doctor’s report, or some court decision, it takes on a whole new meaning. We feel like life is spinning out of control.
Another aspect of the frustration comes from losing the autonomy that we are intended to strengthen as we mature. Decisions and rights are taken away. The girls are given strict rules and enforced regulations. They don’t choose what to eat, when to get up, or when it’s lights out at night. They can’t even go to the bathroom alone, and of course, they have to ask to go, like toddlers.
The incarcerated are quickly reduced to a number in a slot. It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your whole identity. It is first name only. There can be no outside relationships. Everyone is clumped into a phase of sentencing, an assigned floor, and even assigned matching colors to wear. They can’t express themselves in any of the familiar clothes or customary styles. Second floor is red and third floor gets the blue smocks. The clothes are like hospital gowns, plain and simple, with Chinese black thongs and socks on their feet to complete the wardrobe. Of course, no extras either. No jewelry or personal effects, posters, or decorations. All that is stripped away.
When I come in, I’m dressed in normal street clothes and might have things like phone calls, email, traffic, and weather on my mind. None of this has affected their day whatsoever. They’ve just been shuffled from room to room. Their days are filled with a schedule of required classes, reviews, and mundane chores like mopping floors. Harder still, they’ve had staff “on their backs” every waking moment, guarding and firmly addressing every attitude, and every tone of voice.
Not only so, but they have privileges taken away, time and weekend passes denied accordingly. That really hurts. It is not uncommon to hear of one of the girls looking forward to a home visit for weeks, but after some last-minute flare up, to have it denied. It’s akin to telling a child that Christmas is canceled. Then comes anger and another onslaught of raw emotions to deal with.
I don’t mean to say that the staff is the enemy, but like everyone else, they have bad days too. They make mistakes and probably misjudge the girls at one time or another. I’m sure they mean well, but it’s a difficult job trying to keep order and peace in such a house of conflict.
Bottom line, it can feel like a pressure cooker to the girls. All they want is to go home! They want to have their lives back. They crave freedom. Many are missing boyfriends or little sisters. Most of them talk about their moms. Prayer requests usually reflect their burdens for the people they miss at home. They pray for safety and health for moms and grandmoms more than any other thing. They pray for brothers and dads in jail and for help with drugs and alcohol dependencies.
In our brief moments together, one of the most common themes of our studies revolve around suffering. Where is God when it hurts? How do you deal with anger? Why does life seem so unfair? One series I did was called Living in the Pits where we studied the lives of others who had to wade through stormy seas. Job and Jonah, Jeremiah, John and Paul, Joe and Moses offer real encouragement through their stories.
Or, when you look at natural wonders like diamonds, pearls or butterflies, it’s easy to talk about God’s renowned ability to transform the hard things in life into strength and beauty. Molting eagles, giant oaks or delicate desert flowers display God’s enduring power. In the same way, we want these young lives not only to endure, but to emerge as trophies of His grace. That’s our mission!We believe our Redeemer is serious about the business of arresting our attention. He wants to clothe us in the new linens of Christ. He wants to use the pressure to pull us closer to Him. The Lord wants to turn a house of conflict into an oasis of redemption.
Yes, Chrysallis House is perfectly named after the butterfly cocoon. Even in a place of confinement and restriction, healing can take place. In those dark weeks and months of isolation, young wings are formed and new life is generated.
Thankfully, many of the girls do discover their need of the Savior. They realize that they need to turn around and change the way they were living. And the best part of it is that many put their hope and trust in Jesus Christ and find new life.
Pray that these little rooms of confinement will become springboards to heaven, and their few short months of sentencing will lead them to eternal life!
Thank you for your prayers for Straight Ahead Ministries!
“I consider that our present sufferings
are not worth comparing with the glory
that will be revealed in us.”
Romans 8:18
+++++++++++++
posted by Karen Low Deloge at 8:28 PM
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