We May Shatter

"We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass."

These words from a recent song by Thompson Square have a haunting reality to them that strikes your soul. Life is fragile. We get broken. Things can change quickly. 

 

I was reminded of this yesterday morning when I glanced out the dining room window and thought I saw a pile of icy snow where I used to have a beautiful patio table. It had shattered into a million tiny clumps in the grass!

 

Apparently the wind had picked up the umbrella and spiked it through the glass table. Geesh. I only had it two weeks! The joy it gave in that brief time offset by sheer reality: things don’t last as long as I’d like them to.

How do you handle adversity or disappointment? How do you react when plans change and things go wrong? Unexpected winds arise. Hopes are dashed. There’s poop on the park bench. This is life and we shouldn’t be surprised. We’re surrounded with such prickly reminders that we are passing through this shadow land like a vapor.

We like being reminded about these things about as much as I’m going to like replacing that glass, but the stalwart James warned about the fleeting aspect of this temporal world. He compared our lives to a puff of smoke that we see for a brief time and then vanish out of sight—not meant to belittle, but a reality check to give us a glimpse of the heavenly perspective.  All this is brief and passing quickly.  Trying to hold onto this life is like holding water in the palm of your hand.

This is a little thing and we all know there are many greater concerns on the planet. I can throw up my hands and rant about how “life sucks” or peel back the curtain and ask, why do I feel this way? When life makes me mad and chafes my comfort zone I prove an inner yearning for something better. Wisdom prods to hope in God’s design like cowboys on a cattle drive.

 
When something breaks like the brakes on my car, I want things that will last! I want to feel safe.
When my boss turns out to be mean and mentally unstable, I want people who are fair and trustworthy and honest! When people disappoint, I want reliability. I want love and devotion reciprocated.  I ache for unconditional forever-kind-of-love, total forgiveness, and lasting peace.

I long for the day there will be no more cancer, addictions, abortion or trafficking. I’m tired of grieving. I crave joy!

Whatever happens, life reveals (often times like reverse photography) what I don’t want in stark relief to what I ultimately hope for, and it all comes down to a giant billboard for everything Jesus offers.

My little list of failures and let downs, broken parts and fragmented lives creates a wonderful abstract for the heaven of my dreams. There, every wrong will be made right. Every wound healed. Every hole filled. Sorrows erased. Tears will be dried.  

 
Father, help us hold lightly to things that don’t matter, like glass that shatters.

Loving God and people are all that matters.   

 

Going in Circles

May 18, 2013  Frank’s Birthday 

Wow, if Frank were alive he would have turned 61 today. Hard to believe he’s been gone since he was 53. Such a colorful, inventive, sweet companion he was for 34 years. Life has managed to take new shapes and forms. I’ve learned about new sides of myself and the Lord has been faithful to sustain me, but I still wonder how life would have been different had he remained at my side. I know I wouldn’t have worried as much and I probably wouldn’t have cried this much…   

But then again, I wouldn’t have had as many opportunities to talk to other hurting souls. MAYBE there wouldn’t be as many others coming to heaven either…   
 

Last night for example. I was asked to speak at the Relay for Life and though I had to change plans, I knew the Lord had it all arranged. I remembered my own journey, and how I used to walk around the Medway track while Frank was fighting brain tumors.

Many days it was the only thing that kept me grounded, feeling that something was normal. The laps never changed, the course never altered, even though I was merely tracing my own footprints in the snow, just going in circles. 

I would meditate on the words of Psalm 23 and especially verse 4 where David changed tenses and turned from talking about God to a direct chat to God. Valleys full of shadows have a way of bringing us closer to the Lord don’t they.  

So I shared with the group while looking at the red turf of a beautiful track and remembering how the Lord taught me that He is with me every step of the way—no matter how difficult or steep or heart-rending it may be. He is with me! Then I played my favorite Alison Krauss song called A Living Prayer. (Pull it up on itunes and listen to those incredible lyrics!)  

I made a luminary for him and it was beautiful when the sky grew dark and a bright half moon peeked over the trees. Then the loud speaker came on and they announced a car in the parking lot with a flat…  it was mine. Ha! I called triple A and they put on my donut in the dark. Since it’s at least 7 years old it was also flat, so I headed out to find a gas station at 9pm for air, but I only made it about half a mile before the donut turned into a flatbread and I was riding straight on the rim!

What now, Lord? Help! I put on the flashers and stood by the car with phone in hand, calling triple A again when a truck pulled right in behind me, put on an overhead flasher, and offered to help. I was on a terrible corner but he “just happened to have” three bright orange cone markers and all the tools not only to change my tire back but to repair the original one which had a big nail in it!

What a ‘coincidence’ that he just happens to work for a tire company! He did a better job than triple A and as he worked, we talked. It started with his tattoos (one had a cross) and of course got around to what’s going on in his life.  

Turns out, Derek was on the way to find a church parking lot to sit in. He just happened to be searching for God that night, and found Him! What I really like is that this good Samaritan stopped to be a blessing, but God had a bigger blessing in store for him! We prayed right there on the sidewalk, I gave him a Bible, and hugged him as my newest brother.  It was a sweet way to celebrate Frank’s birthday with another birthday.

Thank you Lord. You know how to turn things around and take even a punctured tire and create another memorable salvation story. Even when life seems to be going in circles, or when things that should go flat, you are there with me.

Happy Birthday Frank! I still miss you honey! Have a sweet treat for me today and meet me at the gates, k?

Of Stormy Seas and Fiery Kilns: Relay for Life

Been thinking about the pitching of stormy seas and the brutal waves that bashed against the boats of Jesus’s time. Even seasoned fisherman cried out fearing for their safety, “Toss the cargo overboard! Grab a plank and hope for the best!”

 

Yes, we can suddenly find ourselves in a lurch and over our heads, regardless of anything we’ve been through in the past, when our future doesn’t look very promising.

From where we now sit, the sky looks foreboding. It’s cold and dark and I’m seasick and weary. We’ve taken on too much water. What now? Save me Lord! And that's when we discover that He can walk on water and still the waves. Further, if we weren't out there in the middle of the storm we wouldn't have seen Him do it. But He shows up and He cares! HE IS GOD!

 

Yesterday morning I had a call from a friend I haven’t seen in some time and we went to breakfast to talk about a relative’s suicide attempts and a family homosexual wedding. Then the Lord put another friend on my heart and I called ‘out of the blue’ only to learn that her husband had been in a serious accident. A policeman who might lose his leg had been taken to UMass Medical and I found them in Worcester. We spent the rest of the day talking about skin grafts and protruding bones and suffering as well as hope and everything I’ve been learning. My friend said I was an angel to show up when she needed it most. But THAT'S GOD! He shows up. He cares... through us.  

 

After leaving the hospital I had a call asking if I’d be the keynote speaker for the Relay for Life event Friday night. Hoo boy, not a lot of time, but I trust the Lord will inspire and encourage. That’s just what he does. He shows up in the fire. He cares.

In all our messes, he is the God who gets his hands dirty. He did, after all, create Adam out of the mud, didn’t he? He calls himself a potter and pottery is never a clean business until it finally comes out of the fiery kiln.
 

What do you want me to talk about, Lord? Oh! I can talk about walking in circles, since that’s what they’re going to be doing all night long. And my goodness, my own spaghetti noodle life has ample examples of that! I don't know where I'm going or what's around the next bend, but it’s a journey for a cause and a purpose larger than my own small steps could measure.

 

It’s about teaming up and supporting one another through the hard times, showing up and continuing in faith together until the vast kiln of life finishes its work and God finishes his designs for us. It’s a race, a step-by-step transformation, and there’s a worthy goal and a finish line! So that’s what we’ll do...

We'll show up and care for one another because WE'RE GOD's! And we are following in our Father’s footsteps.

We’ll keep walking together until all this messy work is out of the kiln and we are polished and perfected like fine porcelain in the Master's House. We will endure the fire and trust his capable hands until we reach the finish line.

 

It may look like we're just walking in circles, running our laps, taking small or meaningless steps, but there's much more to the story than meets the eye. For the very act of walking transforms us and every step brings us closer to the day when every wrong will be made right and every cancer healed.